According to the Decatur Daily (that’s Decatur, Alabama, not the larger Decatur, Illinois, though it wouldn’t be a surprise to see a story like this in the Midwest), Mr. Gutierrez, 43, an “undocumented immigrant” (hey, at least they didn’t call him a “youth”), was arrested for second-degree assault with a baseball bat.  Police were called to the scene of a fight and separated two men, and later reported that, “Gutierrez hit the victim in the head with the bat.”

Obviously Mr. Gutierrez was simply trying to demonstrate to his friend the favorite past-time of his adopted country, and got carried away.  The police in Decatur clearly need more diversity training to teach them to be more culturally sensitive.

If Mr. Gutierrez is convicted and sentenced to any jail time, the article says he “will serve his time before being deported.”  It doesn’t say whether he will be deported if he’s found not guilty.  Okay, stop laughing.

Also unknown is what critical work Mr. Gutierrez came here illegally to do because Americans just wouldn’t do it.  Are turkeys going un-plucked somewhere as long as this hard-working Dreamer is in jail?