Juan Ortega and Edgar Perez: Aggravated Sexual Assault of a Child

I can’t be flippant about this one.  According to the Washington Times, these two illegal aliens were arrested in Austin, Texas, after being accused of picking up a 13-year-old girl and taking her to an apartment where she was gang-raped for hours by more than a dozen men and then dumped back on the streets.

Apparently this kind of thing isn’t unique to Muslim immigrants in the UK after all.

Domingo Jose Gutierrez: Pinch-hitting in the Bottom of the Ninth

According to the Decatur Daily (that’s Decatur, Alabama, not the larger Decatur, Illinois, though it wouldn’t be a surprise to see a story like this in the Midwest), Mr. Gutierrez, 43, an “undocumented immigrant” (hey, at least they didn’t call him a “youth”), was arrested for second-degree assault with a baseball bat.  Police were called to the scene of a fight and separated two men, and later reported that, “Gutierrez hit the victim in the head with the bat.”

Obviously Mr. Gutierrez was simply trying to demonstrate to his friend the favorite past-time of his adopted country, and got carried away.  The police in Decatur clearly need more diversity training to teach them to be more culturally sensitive.

If Mr. Gutierrez is convicted and sentenced to any jail time, the article says he “will serve his time before being deported.”  It doesn’t say whether he will be deported if he’s found not guilty.  Okay, stop laughing.

Also unknown is what critical work Mr. Gutierrez came here illegally to do because Americans just wouldn’t do it.  Are turkeys going un-plucked somewhere as long as this hard-working Dreamer is in jail?

Khusen Akhmedov: Federal Fraud, Driving without a License, Homicide by Vehicle, and much more

Here’s a great first entry in our lineup of immigrants who do the jobs Americans just won’t do: Khusen Akhmedov.  His family came from Russia about 10 years ago and settled in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, presumably to do all those jobs the famously lazy Amish won’t take.  And he’s been a busy boy: just since 2009 he’s had 9 traffic violations, including driving on a revoked license.  But being a hard-working immigrant, he has other accomplishments, including being charged with defrauding Medicare.

Apparently, in all the times he’s been in and out of police stations and courtrooms to face all these charges, it has never occurred to anyone to say, “You know, maybe America doesn’t really need any more chronic lawbreakers.  Let’s politely show this guy the door.”  No, that would be rude.  So Mr. Akhmedov was repeatedly sent back out to pursue his personal interpretation of the American Dream, drag racing on public streets — at high speed right into pedestrian Samara Banks, 28, who is now deceased along with her three youngest children, aged 7 months to four years.  Her 5-year-old son survived to grow up without a mother, thanks to this Dreamer and our refusal to think rationally about immigration.

(hat tip to iSteve)